All About Ben.

What's Ben up to these days? Well, if you're a friend of mine on FB (and chances are preeeeeeetty good that ya are), you know most of his big stuff. Here's some stuff that maybe you didn't know and I feel like sharing:

• At posting time, Ben is 7 months, 1 week and 5 days old
• Ben is now a champion Army crawler. He is getting faster and faster, the more time he has to practice. I suspect he'll be up on his knees before I know it.
• He's made his way over to the fireplace a few times and (although I keep a good eye on him when he's scooting around) I have a feeling a head bump is going to come shortly.
• He loves to eat. He's not picky about anything (well, he didn't like peas but I haven't tried them in over 2 months). For those of you that might care (probably no one) this is what he's currently being fed: at breakfast (some time before noon) I give him 2 tablespoons of cereal (organic oatmeal) mixed with 1 scoop of formula, 2 tablespoons of fruit and enough apple juice to make it all the right consistency. At dinner it's again 2 tablespoons of cereal mixed with 1 scoop of formula and enough apple juice mixed in + 2 tablespoons of fruit + 2 tablespoons of veggies. Some times he needs more, some times he doesn't finish it all. I'm feeding him Earth's Best veggies and fruits (and cereal, as soon as he finishes this box of Gerber oatmeal) because it bothered me that most of Gerber's 2nd & 3rd Foods were made with a crapload of chemicals. I know, I know. But I figure he'll get plenty of time when he's older to load his body with chemicals, I don't need to do it now. the Earth's Best ones are pretty much the food it lists on the jar and water. I stay away from the ones that have added chemicals.
• He loves to play with his food. Some of his favorites: playing "volcano" with his food, when you give him a bite he'll push it out with his tongue to make like lava down his chin. Then he laughs. He also will take a bite and say "ah-mamamamamamaman" over and over with the food rolling around his mouth. Another good one is blowing raspberries with a mouthful of food (but he doesn't do this one as often any more).
• He sneezes at least once every time he eats (and food goes EVERYWHERE, because, as fate would have it, I've just given him a bite when he sneezes).
• He LOVES to sneeze. He'll grin so huge after every sneeze and usually makes some sort of cooing sound.
• He gets excited when I open his closet, turn on the TV or open the curtains to look outside. He does what I call his "peanut butter jelly time" dance (google it)
• For a kid that would get so mad at baths when he was itty bitty, he sure loves them now. With our bathtub, we put it in the big tub and leave the drain to the little tub open and keep the water running - that way the water is always warm and clean. He loves to reach forward and play with the water coming out the spout (we reminds me: I need to get a spout cover before we have a head bump there) and play with his duck or his hippo. When I lay him on his back to wash his tummy & legs he kicks about half the water out of the tub.
• He loves to look at himself in the mirror. Thinks it's the funniest thing ever when I play peek a boo with him in the mirror.
• He spends a great majority of his day laughing or smiling. As he gets older, he's more prone to more crankiness but still overall is a very happy little boy.
• He claps. Randomly. Which cracks us up.
• I think he has a bit of a sadistic bent. When we tell him "no pinching, that hurts" he grins. When we say "ow!" he grins. :-p
• Loves his Sadie
• Also loves his Kitty (who bites...not sure why Ben still likes him, but I reference you back to the sadist post)
• He is ticklish on the back of his neck and all down his spine.
• He's also ticklish on his booty.
• He sings along to the radio or when I sing to him (I cannot sing him good night because he just grins at me the whole time)...
• ...except for humming "Love Me Tender". That's the ONLY song that will put him to sleep
• Ben loves to people watch. And flirt with random ladies.
• This one is naughty, but it cracks me up as soon as I take his diapers off its WHOOM, hands to the parts.
• We can tell he's hungry when he opens his mouth as far as it'll go and huffs and puffs like a steam engine.

Well that's all I can think of. I just noticed how messy my house got today and now I'm distracted by the mess. I'm sure they'll be a "Oh How Much I Love Ben: Part Two" in your future. Goodie for you!

p.s.

Update on the sleep training - it's actually going really well!! He doesn't fuss for more than 5 or so minutes (and even that isn't even crying, it's more of really just fussing sounds) after we leave the room and is asleep within 10. Tonight was the first time I laid him down that he didn't FUSS ONE SINGLE TIME!! I'm SO proud of him, I could just burst.

the sleepeasy solution

So. I over share. I know I do - I look at what most of my other friends blog about or share on their Facebooks and it's not nearly as much as I do. I don't know why I feel the need to defend my oversharing but I do so here it goes (LOL). First - clearly, I'm a first time parent and I have no idea what I'm doing. I make mistakes, I get frustrated, my baby doesn't do things the way other babies do. Maybe, just maybe, by my over sharing, I can help some one else that doesn't over share that is struggling in a similar way. Second - most of our family isn't located close. My over sharing is a great way to help them be a part of Ben's life on a daily basis, even if it is from afar.

From previous blogs and Facebook rants, ya'll know that I'm struggling a bit with helping Ben to learn to put himself to sleep. I've tried so many methods, the Baby Whisperer, crying it out, etc. Nothing seemed to be working and we're all getting frustrated at our house. Don't get me wrong - Ben sleeps great. He's finally eliminated that middle of the night feeding and pretty much sleeps a solid 11 - 12 hours a night. He naps (for the most part) for at least an hour for every nap. The problem (which isn't really a problem) is that he doesn't know how to fall asleep on his own (unless it's in the car - he's a champ at car time naps). He must be held or nursed to sleep. On the one hand, I don't mind it. I like that bonding time with him. On the other hand, that's precious time out of my day for ME time (of which I rarely get - and I know - I'm not the only woman who hardly gets a moment to herself).

Anyway, I wanted to share and keep record of our new method, which we started tonight. I checked out "the sleepeasy solution: The Exhausted Parent's Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep - from Birth to Age 5" by Jennifer Waldburger and Jill Spivack. I read through the book this afternoon and I agree with their methods like 100%. It's something I can see fitting with our family lifestyle and actually have a chance at working. It's not a "no cry" method but it isn't a "cry it out" method either. It's the perfect balance. I've established a bed time routine (which we already had, but I swapped it up a bit starting tonight). Our target bed time is 7:00 pm. This ensures that if Ben only needs to sleep 11 hours at night, I'm not up before 6:00 am (which sucks). Our routine is:

1. Final nursing before bed
2. Bath
3. Lotion/diaper/jams
4. Quiet music and fan on for white noise
5. Non-stimulating play/bonding in his room
6. A few minutes of cuddling/rocking
7. In the crib, say good night, out the door

Tonight we did all those things and he was asleep before 7:05. Now, today is probably the exception to the rule. He napped like crap today and was way tired by bed time. As I was typing this up, he began crying but stopped before the 5 minute check time. Fingers crossed!

According to this book, night time putting to sleep should be mastered with in a few days. Apparently, naps are harder. I'm gonna stick with it and hopefully with 10-14 days we're on smooth sailing. We'll see!!!

Yum.

Oatmeal Cranberry White Chocolate Chunk Cookies

INGREDIENTS:

2/3 cup butter or margarine, softened
2/3 cup brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cups old-fashioned oats
1 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 6-ounce package Ocean Spray® Craisins® Original Dried Cranberries
2/3 cup white chocolate chunks or chips
DIRECTIONS:
Preheat oven to 375ºF.
Using an electric mixer, beat butter or margarine and sugar together in a medium mixing bowl until light and fluffy. Add eggs, mixing well. Combine oats, flour, baking soda and salt in a separate mixing bowl. Add to butter mixture in several additions, mixing well after each addition. Stir in dried cranberries and white chocolate chunks.
Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on wire rack.
Makes approximately 2 1/2 dozen cookies.



These are really tasty, and not nearly as sweet as I thought they might be. If I make these again, I think I'll try dark chocolate chips instead of white chocolate.

Emotional Fitness.

I get supremely bored on Monday and Friday nights. Ben goes to bed super early (about a half hour to an hour after Nick goes to school), TV kinda blows and I am not motivated to do house work (even though it would be far more productive than watching another stupid episode of freaking House Hunters on HGTV and playing silly games on FB. Some times I use this...I don't know what you call it, an app, I guess? It's called StumbleUpon and it's a little toolbar I have on my browser. It takes me to a lot of random websites (it's how I actually found my very favorite blogs). Today I found an article on relationships. I liked the list so I wanted to share (original source found here). (I bolded some of my favorite parts)

1. Successful relationships take work. They don't happen in a vacuum. They occur when the couples in them take the risk of sharing what it is that's going on in their hearts and heads.

2. You can only change yourself, not your partner. If you love someone and think that after a while he or she will alter behaviors you find uncomfortable, think again. If you want changes, put them on the table, so your partner knows what you need.

3. All arguments stem from our own fear or pain. When upset occurs, check out what's going on inside you rather than getting angry with your partner. Truth is that we usually aren't upset for the reasons we think we are.

4. Understand that men and women are very different. We're not from Mars or Venus; we're not even in the same solar system. Understanding and celebrating our differences will make living together more peaceful, interesting and fun.

5. Honor each other in some way every day. Every morning, you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by recommitting to your mate. Feeling respected and cherished by the one you love makes life much nicer.

6. Anger is a waste of time. Anger also is a relationship killer because it makes you self-absorbed and won't allow you to see the good. If you are annoyed with your mate, give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss what's going on for you.

7. Get regular tune-ups. Go to a couples workshop, talk with a counselor or read a relationship book together at least once a year. Even if you don't think that you need ideas, and the process alone will strengthen your connection.

8. Find a way to become and stay best friends. For some, this sounds unromantic, but for those who live it, most say it's the best part of their time together.

9. Be responsible for your own happiness. No other person can make you happy. It's something that you have to do on your own. If you feel that it's your partner's fault, think again, and look within to find out what piece may be missing for you.

10. Give what you want to get. Our needs change with time. If you'd like to feel understood, try being more understanding. If you want to feel more love, try giving more. It's a simple program that really works.

Mean Mommy.

So, most of you know that I'm (I mean, we're) doing some sleep training with Ben. I've let him develop some bad habits in his short little life with us and it's time to help him create some better ones. My goals have been to get him to go longer between eating (he was eating every hour on the hour), to eat longer (when nursing he'd eat for 10 minutes and when using a bottle he'd eat a max of 4 ounces), and to fall asleep on his own.

I started by simply refusing to feed him before a minimum of 2 hours had passed since his prior eating - if he wanted to eat right at that 2 hour mark, I'd feed him, otherwise I waited for him to tell me he was hungry. I did that for a week or so and he's naturally spaced that out to eating roughly every 3 hours now, all on his own. Since then, we've also convinced him to now eat 6 ounces of formula when we bottle feed him. I've also been very slowly switching him from nursing to bottles. Right now he's getting 2 bottles a day but I think I'm gonna start adding a third one in.

As for sleep training. Well. That's been fun. He's really good now about going to sleep without being nursed or rocked to sleep but would still prefer to be held. I tried laying him in his crib and standing over him, patting, soothing and picking up to cuddle and laying back down as necessary. You can stamp that with a big gigantic FAIL. So I finally decided to just try letting him cry it out. I tried going in periodically to soothe and reassure him that he's not being punished but that just made it worse. Every time I'd go in, I think he'd think I was coming to get him and then when I left again, it would just make the crying like 1000 times worse. I've been doing the cry it out method since Friday afternoon. The first time I did it, it took about a half hour of crying before he went to sleep. Friday night I did nurse him to sleep because well, it was just the timing of it. He woke up about a half hour later - I went in, gave him back his pacifier and told him that it was night-night time and left. That one was a bit longer, nearly an hour before he fell asleep. Since then, only 5 or less minutes of crying/fussing before he realizes I'm not coming back and it's bed time.

This makes me feel like the most awful person in the world. It's the worst feeling ever to let your baby cry and cry and cry. I wouldn't do it if he was hurtful to him, but I can tell by his cries that he's pissed - not hurting. I'm not the first mother that's let her baby cry themselves to sleep and I certainly won't be the last. I know some of you that will read this don't agree with the cry it out method and I have to say that to a point I agree with you. I didn't want to do it, I was against it but in the end - apparently it's the method that works best for Ben. He will never learn to fall asleep on his own if I don't give him the opportunity to do it.

In other, non-mean-mommy news: I'm so excited for my brother and my nephew!!! Their Little League team just won State Champions!!! They're headed off to San Bernardino, CA in August for regionals and if they win that it's off to Pennsylvania for the Little League World Series. Such a wonderful accomplishment for them!! I'm SO excited they are having such a fantastic season!!