Ugh.

Do you have moments where you know you're being completely irrational but you can't seem to make yourself stop?

I have been in this state for about a week now and it's getting steadily worse.

It's all because a certain little kid is turning 2 and his mother is putting this stupid and unnecessary pressure on herself to throw him this fabulous party with fun, friends and good times. A party he will likely not remember. A party those attend will likely forget after awhile.

Why am I doing this to myself?

I have no idea. I can tell you the thought has crossed my mind many times to just call the whole thing off and have a simple and fun party with just the family.

On the other hand... I have all these fun ideas that I think he'd really enjoy. Ideas that work better with a small crowd of friends than by himself. Plus, I had a good time planning for his party last year and I want to do it again.

My biggest UGH at the moment is this stupid invitation. I am in this mood right now where I feel completely uncreative. Like, if I can't find something that I can copy step by step and have an exact replica in my hand, then I don't want to do it. If it requires any sort of creative input on my part, I feel like I can't do it and therefore it won't be done.

I'm not finding very much inspiration and I have googled and pinterest-ed to my very best abilities. Susan took pity on me and tried to send me some ideas, only to have me fire back a "meh" at her hard work.

By that same measure, I want something C-R-E-A-T-I-V-E. I don't want a plain flat square (or rectangle) card. I want something fun and clever and unique. I want to look back on it in several years time and go "oh, wow, that was a cool card!"

Doesn't work very well with the whole not feeling creative thing.

Sigh.

I'm such a brat. And I know it. Which makes it even worse.